This blog aims to provide insights into how distorted self-concept impacts your well-being, explain how Transpersonal Psychotherapy as a form of person-centered therapy can guide you toward self-healing, and offer practical suggestions for applying this knowledge to your life.

Have you ever found yourself questioning your worthiness or doubting your potential? Many of us carry distorted beliefs about ourselves that deeply influence our self-perception, our relationships, and the way we navigate life. These beliefs, often unconscious, are shaped by our early experiences and societal influences, creating a gap between who we are and who we believe we should be. This blog explores the concepts of self-concept and self-schema, their role in shaping our sense of worthiness, and how transpersonal psychotherapy can help us heal and rediscover our intrinsic value.
What Are Self-Concept and Self-Schema?
Self-concept is the way we perceive and define ourselves—it encompasses our beliefs about our strengths, weaknesses, personality traits, and the roles we play in life. It answers the question, “Who am I?” This self-concept is shaped by three main components:
The Actual Self: Who we believe we are right now.
The Ideal Self: Who we aspire to be or feel we should be, often shaped by societal norms and cultural expectations.
The Ought Self: Who we think we must be based on obligations or external pressures (e.g., being the perfect parent, partner, or professional).
When there’s a significant gap between these selves—especially between the actual and ideal self—we may experience feelings of inadequacy, shame, or a loss of worthiness.
Self-schemas, on the other hand, are the mental frameworks that shape how we process information about ourselves. For example, someone with a self-schema of “I am unworthy” will unconsciously filter their experiences to confirm this belief, ignoring evidence to the contrary. These schemas are deeply ingrained and often originate from early life experiences or conditional approval from caregivers and society.
Distortions in Self-Concept and Their Impact on Worthiness
Negative self-concepts often arise from distorted thinking patterns, such as:
Overgeneralisation: Drawing sweeping conclusions from isolated failures (e.g., “I failed once, so I’m a failure in life.”, “I have a problem with one person in the group, so no one in the group likes me and I isolate”).
Internalising External Criticism: Adopting others’ judgments as truths about who you are.
Focus on Flaws: Overemphasising shortcomings while dismissing strengths.
Such distortions perpetuate feelings of inadequacy and block access to our inherent worthiness. As Carl Rogers, the founder of person-centered therapy, emphasised, unconditional positive regard—the experience of being valued without conditions—helps heal these distortions and bring our self-concept into alignment with our true essence.
Healing Through Transpersonal Psychotherapy
Transpersonal psychotherapy builds on the foundations of person-centered therapy by integrating spiritual and transpersonal elements into the healing process. While person-centered therapy focuses on unconditional positive regard, empathy, and self-acceptance, transpersonal psychotherapy adds a dimension of connecting with the higher self, exploring meaning, and aligning with the soul’s purpose.
In this approach, distorted self-concepts are seen as explorative paths to self-realisation. Healing involves reconnecting with the deeper, universal aspects of the self and recognising that worthiness is not something you earn but an intrinsic quality of your being. Techniques such as guided meditation, mindfulness, shadow-work and exploration of archetypal energies can help uncover limiting self-schemas and bring them into conscious awareness for transformation.
Practical Ways to Reclaim Your Worthiness
Here are some ways to apply these concepts in your life to heal distorted self-concepts and enhance your sense of worth:
Practice Self-Awareness
Journaling or meditating daily to explore your beliefs about yourself. Ask questions like, “What stories am I telling myself about my worthiness?”
Reflect on the origins of your self-schemas. Did they come from a critical parent, societal expectations, or a past failure?
Challenge Negative Self-Schemas
Our negative self-schemas often operate like invisible scripts, influencing how we interpret situations and respond to life’s challenges. Challenging these distorted beliefs can help you rewrite your internal narrative.
Here are more practical examples:
Reframe “I always fail” into “I am learning from every experience.” - Instead of dwelling on past failures, remind yourself that mistakes are part of growth. Write down one lesson or skill you gained from each challenge to reframe failures as stepping stones.
Transform “I am not lovable” into “I am worthy of love and connection.” -Recall moments when others showed you care or appreciation, even in small ways. Keep a “love log” where you document acts of kindness you’ve given and received to reinforce your inherent worth.
Change “I can’t do this” to “I haven’t mastered it yet.” -Adopt a growth mindset by adding the word “yet” to self-defeating statements. For example, “I can’t manage stress” becomes “I haven’t mastered stress management yet, but I am learning new tools.”
Turn “I don’t deserve success” into “I am deserving of the rewards of my efforts.” - Identify a recent accomplishment and take a moment to celebrate it—no matter how small. For example, if you completed a task or made a positive decision, affirm, “This is evidence that I am capable and deserving of success.”
Challenge “I am weak” with evidence of your strength. - Reflect on times you’ve overcome adversity, even if it was just getting through a difficult day. Create a “strength inventory” by listing qualities or actions that prove your resilience.
Replace “Others are better than me” with “I am unique, and comparison is unnecessary.”- When you catch yourself comparing, focus on your individuality. Write down three things that make you special or uniquely equipped to bring value to a situation.
Shift “I don’t belong here” to “I am valuable and have something to contribute.” - If you feel like an outsider, remind yourself that your perspective is valid and adds richness to any environment. For instance, reflect on how your unique experiences have positively influenced others.
Flip “I can’t trust myself” into “I am learning to trust my inner wisdom.” - When faced with self-doubt, pause and ask, “What feels true for me in this moment?” Practice small decisions daily to strengthen self-trust over time.
Cultivate Self-Compassion
Treat yourself as you would a dear friend. Acknowledge your flaws with kindness and remind yourself that imperfection is part of being human.
Use affirmations like, “I am worthy of love and respect, just as I am.”
Engage in Practices that Connect You with the Transpersonal Self
Spend time in nature to reconnect with the universal rhythm of life.
Try mindfulness-based practices, such as meditation, breathwork, or Kundalini Yoga, which foster alignment with your higher self.
Seek Support
Working with a transpersonal therapist can provide a safe space to explore your self-concept and uncover hidden blocks to your worthiness.
Final Thoughts
Reclaiming your worthiness begins with the understanding that self-concept is not fixed—it can evolve and expand as you challenge limiting beliefs and embrace your intrinsic value. Through transpersonal psychotherapy, you can transcend distorted self-schemas, align with your higher self, and step into a life that reflects your true worth.
Healing your relationship with yourself is not only a personal journey but a spiritual one. By embracing your imperfections and reconnecting with your soul, you open the door to living with greater authenticity, meaning, and joy.
References
Branden, Nathaniel. The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. Bantam, 1994.
Brown, Brené. The Gifts of Imperfection. Hazelden Publishing, 2010.
Rogers, Carl. On Becoming a Person: A Therapist’s View of Psychotherapy. Houghton Mifflin, 1961.
Neff, Kristin. Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. HarperCollins, 2011.
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